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A Man Worthy of the Spotlight

8.5 years ago I had a coffee date with a man I met online, I've never seen him in person before, didn't know how tall he was or even his body type (he wasn't one of those douches who posted photos shirtless, which is why I swiped right). I was sitting in my car and I saw him walk from the coffee shop back to his car, and I knew from the way he walked that I had known him before. I recognized Him, his soul, his essence. He was different and special, I knew that from that first moment.

Fast forward a few years, I was going through a lot emotionally, spiritually, physically and mentally. This was my spiritual awakening, although I didn't know it at the time. I saw so many specialists and had so many doctor appointments. I was diagnosed with PTSD, agoraphobia, generalized anxiety disorder, social anxiety, depression... probably even more. I never felt like I connected to any of those diagnoses but I followed treatment suggestions and met with a PTSD therapist twice a week, an occupational therapist once a week and various other treatments. Max never waivered in his support of me and what I was dealing with. When I decided to look down another healing avenue (Past Life Regression, Readings, Reiki, etc.), he drove me to my appointments and waiting in the car, even though he didn't believe in those types of New Age Healing, he never questioned any of it - he just supported me.

I was having a lot of nightmares/night terrors, especially then. I would break down randomly throughout the day/evening/night, sometimes I would shut down and not speak, couldn't be touched. This is just a smidge of what I was going through, he always... ALWAYS showed me compassion, kindness, LOVE, patience and understanding. He was always there to listen to the things I had to release out loud, even though it was really hard for him to hear, he never reacted or made me feel uncomfortable for sharing the gory details of my past.

Fast forward to today. I am in a much, MUCH better place. But I am still working through a lot of that stuff and although I don't have nightmares as much, and haven't had a night terror in a long time, they do still pop in. Max works for a Union for a very large organization and he had to travel 4 hours away for a conference. During that time we are experiencing a Full Moon Eclipse in Scorpio, and anyone who knows Astrology even in the slightest might have figured out that as a Cancer and moonchild, this time is TOUGH for me. I realized (from the Astrology Guy on YouTube, he is amazing) that this is a time for Cancer's to work through inner-child stuff, it is illuminating things from the past that we haven't completely worked through yet, that needs releasing. Well while he was away I had one of those nightmares again, it was very triggering and tough - especially because my Rock wasn't here, thankfully I have 3 dogs - and at least one really cares about my wellbeing and knows when I need her cuddles.

I wrote to Julie about it (because we are both up really, really early) and she called me and we spoke about it. If you're reading this Julie, thank you for that <3 And I told Max about it when we spoke over the phone once we was awake. He was upset that he wasn't here for me but he was so happy that Julie was able to help me move through it. When he got home he gave me a candle that he bought that supported women in the workplace, he listened to me vent, he gave me a hug.

He then told me that he met a group of women at the conference who work with women in male-dominated workplace environments. They privately & anonymously speak to all the women who are willing to describe the workplace and they gather as much information as possible from these women and bring it to the Union and work together to make it a safer and better environment for women. He asked that group to come here and work with them to do exactly that. This is just one thing he has done to encourage change for women in his workplace. He has listened to the things I've described about what women go through that men have never had to deal with and he uses that information to learn how to be better and then he goes the extra mile to use his leadership skills, to make other men better.

I have been triggered a lot recently and it has brought up a lot of emotions that I have tried not to deal with because then I would have to re-live or just think about tough situations with certain men throughout my life. But this morning, I felt like talking about another kind of man, the kind of man who has always showed me unconditional love and support, the kind of man who wants to learn how to be better, the kind of man who apologizes when he is in the wrong and also apologizes for the way other men have treated me before I met him. Max is a special kind of Human and I am eternally grateful for Tinder for bringing him into my life. He is a man worthy of the spotlight. <3 I love you Boog!

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